Mothership Meals and Satellite Saucers: green birthday party

Thursday, January 8, 2009

NEED: Birthday Help

Hi people, and Happy New Year! Thank you so much for reading my blog! It’s always nice to know I am not alone in my efforts to feed my kids, and lord knows it’s an endless battle. (eg: my son, unprompted, ate radishes and arugula last night! Whoo-hoo! But the same day his lunchbox came back essentially untouched. Bah!)

Anyway, I have a question for you all. I’m writing my April installment of my Feeding Your Family column, which I write for Parenthood.com. I’m talking about birthday parties. Okay, I’m ranting a bit about birthday parties.

Granted, I was a kid who didn’t care for games like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, and I’m always a little creeped out by those pictures of 1-year-olds with birthday cake frosting smeared all over their faces, looking dazed and drunk and sick, so I’m not starting out with the warmest of feelings toward the whole kids’ birthday party genre. Yes, I admit that I'm a bit of a birthday-party-scrooge.

But as we’ve all gone greener in our lives, it has struck me that birthday parties are in desperate need of a green makeover. In the last few decades they have become comprised on an entirely disposable, non-recyclable mentality. From the pizza boxes to the paper plates and plastic forks to the balloons to the plastic games to the goodie bags, which could easily be renamed the Crappy Bags….
(cue loud carnival music and obnoxious barker’s voice): ** CRAPPY BAGS! Filled with LAME Plastic Crap and CHEAP Candy that your Kids Will Play With for TWENTY Seconds. Do Those Toys Suck? No Problem, Moms! Just THROW Them Away!**

That’s not even getting into the candy issue, which I’ll sheepishly with a guilty grimace let rest for now.

Every year I try to make the parties greener, and they end up feeling paltry.

So lay it on me, peeps. Any ideas? How can we make birthday parties more sustainable without taking away the fun? Are they just by their very nature destined to be chaotic avalanches of waste filled with over-stimulated kids jacked up on a potent combo of sugar and musical chairs? Or can we figure out some way to make them greener and more sustainable? Or is it just one day a year, and who cares?

I’d love any ideas you all can share with me about how to build a better goody bag, what to fill a piñata with if not Cheap Crap, and alternatives to balloons (hey, even the Obamas got rid of the balloons!). Can we figure out how to narrow it down to ONE giant garbage bag for every 120 minutes of party fun? Do you all register for gifts to cut down on unwanted things, or does that seem rude? I don’t know, I need help!

Thank you!

The Mothership Method

(Or, how to sit down for dinner with your family without completely losing your mind)

It would be great if kids AND parents wanted boiled chicken and baby carrots every night for dinner. But, too bad, we picky parents want spicy, exotic, fun foods, and our kids want, well, sorta lame foods.
Here's the solution: break it down. Serve the dish deconstructed, and let everyone put their own dish together at the table. Sort of like tapas, or smorgasbord, or tacos. Or how in some parts of China you get a bowl of rice, and everything else is in the middle of the table and you take what you want for your own little bowl of rice. That way everyone gets to eat what they want, parents don't have to nag their kids, and kids get to feels some ownership over their meals. Plus, kids get exposed to the look and taste of the foods you hope they will one day love. But it's not just tacos. You'll be amazed at what can be served with the Mothership Method.

Ten Tips to Get Through Dinner Without Having A Nervous Breakdown

1. Accept That Kids Are Picky. No need to freak out on your cooking ability, or look at your kids like there is something wrong with them. It's called "neo-phobia", and it's just how they are, especially from ages 3-6.

2. Serve Meals Broken Down. Even grown-up meals like coconut curry or linguine with clams can be served in their elements, making them more appealing to kids. Grown ups can assemble their own jumble of deliciousness at their own plate while kids take on the pared-down elements.

3. Push if it Works, But Don't Nag If It Doesn't. Some kids are okay with being expected to taste everything on their plate. Others aren't. I think it's okay to push kids -- but not if you're turning dinner into a battlefield.

4. Suggest a Smell. Smelling a new food is easier than tasting it, and can sometimes provide a kid with the information needed to take that scary first bite. But don't confine smelling to new foods. Smell favorites, too, and help them develop their sense of smell by making a game out of it.

5. Don't Ask "Do You Like It?" Instead, try, "What does this remind you of?" or, "Would your cousins like this?" or, "Does this taste salty or sweet?". Asking if they like it or not gives kids too much power and ends the conversation. Besides, we don't care if they like it! We just want them to keep tasting it until it is familiar.

6. Don't Get Frustrated. Imagine being in Taiwan, or Nairobi, or Rome for the first time. Would you eat everything on the local menu? New foods are scary and gross. Our kids need time to learn about the foods that we eat.

7. No SubstitutionsThis is family dinner, not a diner. You, in all your wisdom, have provided foods that are healthy and delicious and appropriate for your children. There is something on the table for them to eat. Period.

8. No Snacks Before Dinner. This can be the hardest with our hectic schedules and hungry kids. But children who come to the table hungry are more likely to eat than cause trouble.

9. Put Peer Pressure To Your Advantage. School children are more likely to accept new foods if the alpha girls in their group accept them. Swap healthy food ideas on playdates.

10. Involve Your Kids In Cooking, Shopping, and Gardening. The more experience kids have handling and preparing a variety of foods, the more likely they are to eventually accept the foods. (But don't get upset if they help you make a complicated wonderful meal, and then refuse to eat it.)