Mothership Meals and Satellite Saucers: Perfect Birthday Dinner

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Perfect Birthday Dinner

My son turned 10 on Monday. I work late Mondays and Tuesdays, so we waited until last night to have his birthday dinner.

His request? "Oysters. Good ones, you know? Not those giant ones. The little ones, really cold. Then rib-eye steak, with that thing you make, you know, with the parsley? The parsley mash. And for dessert, blood orange sorbet."

Be still my heart.

When prompted he agreed also on arugula salad with radishes. My husband and I might have chosen the exact same menu for our own birthday dinners. What, a kid absorbing his family's tastes and preferences? Shocking! And yet, after so many years of frustration, I can't help but be shocked.

Here's the dinner in all its glory:

We got these at Citarella in Manhattan. I think they are kumamotos.

Mignonette for the oysters-- vinegar, shallots and pepper.

Giant porterhouse steak.

Parsley mash -- essential for steak. It's a pesto of garlic, anchovies, capers, parsley, salt, black pepper and olive oil.

Arugula. There were radishes too. I believe that eating bitter sharp greens with red meat is beneficial. I know it tastes good.

Hey, if he didn't want a cake, who was I to push it on him? Sorbet is good!

They were giving out samples of this when I shopped, and I had to buy some to take home. It's ice cream made from coconut milk and agave syrup. It's amazing. Where was this when I was off the dairy?

Happy Birthday, kid. I can't express how pleased I am that we are moving beyond the picky years into the sit down and feast together years!

2 comments:

julie said...: Holy cow. My son is 7 and I cannot wait for this to happen to him. It breaks my heart that he won't try things. You're the best Larissa - keep at it!; April 16, 2009 at 10:03 AM
Larissa said...: It really happens! If it happened to us, it can happen to anyone. We were so in the sticks for so long. Now I wish I'd stuck to my guns even more... but maybe flexible was what worked. Every day I am amazed by them. Anyway, don't give up!; April 22, 2009 at 6:52 PM

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The Mothership Method

(Or, how to sit down for dinner with your family without completely losing your mind)

It would be great if kids AND parents wanted boiled chicken and baby carrots every night for dinner. But, too bad, we picky parents want spicy, exotic, fun foods, and our kids want, well, sorta lame foods.
Here's the solution: break it down. Serve the dish deconstructed, and let everyone put their own dish together at the table. Sort of like tapas, or smorgasbord, or tacos. Or how in some parts of China you get a bowl of rice, and everything else is in the middle of the table and you take what you want for your own little bowl of rice. That way everyone gets to eat what they want, parents don't have to nag their kids, and kids get to feels some ownership over their meals. Plus, kids get exposed to the look and taste of the foods you hope they will one day love. But it's not just tacos. You'll be amazed at what can be served with the Mothership Method.

Ten Tips to Get Through Dinner Without Having A Nervous Breakdown

1. Accept That Kids Are Picky. No need to freak out on your cooking ability, or look at your kids like there is something wrong with them. It's called "neo-phobia", and it's just how they are, especially from ages 3-6.

2. Serve Meals Broken Down. Even grown-up meals like coconut curry or linguine with clams can be served in their elements, making them more appealing to kids. Grown ups can assemble their own jumble of deliciousness at their own plate while kids take on the pared-down elements.

3. Push if it Works, But Don't Nag If It Doesn't. Some kids are okay with being expected to taste everything on their plate. Others aren't. I think it's okay to push kids -- but not if you're turning dinner into a battlefield.

4. Suggest a Smell. Smelling a new food is easier than tasting it, and can sometimes provide a kid with the information needed to take that scary first bite. But don't confine smelling to new foods. Smell favorites, too, and help them develop their sense of smell by making a game out of it.

5. Don't Ask "Do You Like It?" Instead, try, "What does this remind you of?" or, "Would your cousins like this?" or, "Does this taste salty or sweet?". Asking if they like it or not gives kids too much power and ends the conversation. Besides, we don't care if they like it! We just want them to keep tasting it until it is familiar.

6. Don't Get Frustrated. Imagine being in Taiwan, or Nairobi, or Rome for the first time. Would you eat everything on the local menu? New foods are scary and gross. Our kids need time to learn about the foods that we eat.

7. No SubstitutionsThis is family dinner, not a diner. You, in all your wisdom, have provided foods that are healthy and delicious and appropriate for your children. There is something on the table for them to eat. Period.

8. No Snacks Before Dinner. This can be the hardest with our hectic schedules and hungry kids. But children who come to the table hungry are more likely to eat than cause trouble.

9. Put Peer Pressure To Your Advantage. School children are more likely to accept new foods if the alpha girls in their group accept them. Swap healthy food ideas on playdates.

10. Involve Your Kids In Cooking, Shopping, and Gardening. The more experience kids have handling and preparing a variety of foods, the more likely they are to eventually accept the foods. (But don't get upset if they help you make a complicated wonderful meal, and then refuse to eat it.)