Mothership Meals and Satellite Saucers: Pathetic-ness Averted

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Pathetic-ness Averted

If you read my account of the pathetic and twisted conversation I led my five-year-old daughter through earlier this evening (see below) in an effort to interest her in eating beans and rice for dinner, you may be as shocked as I am to learn that it all turned out great.

She and I cooked dinner together: cut up radishes, pounded garlic in the mortar to make the vinaigrette, spun salad, grated cheese, cut avocados, set table, and squeezed limes for her fish-sauce-and-lime sauce. She also peeled brussels sprouts and garlic, and tossed them in olive oil. (Why roasted B. sprouts in a Latin-style dish? Because we had them.)

My daughter is the kind of kid who, in order to erase an Etch-a-Sketch drawing, holds the tablet really rigidly in her arms and jumps up and down really hard for five minutes. She has a lot of energy and she loves doing things. So she was so happy to help.

Okay, I did chop up a little bit of bacon and fry it and then add it to the beans. I did not put any interesting dried smoky chilies in the beans, since I was hoping my kids would eat the beans and didn't want to add any spice.

Anyway, the rice and beans were delicious to us, of course. My daughter ate rice with fish sauce and limes, just like she'd said, along with a brussels sprout in exchange for a few scraps of bacon.

The big surprise was... my 9-year-old son, who topped his rice and beans with everything there was and then fought with my husband for the last serving of salad.

"When can we have this again?" he asked.

"We're always having no meat on Sundays," my daughter informed him.

"How about next Sunday?" I said.

"How about Wednesday?" he countered (Wednesday being the next night we eat together, since I work late the next two nights). Before bed he asked again when we could have rice and beans again.

Wow.

2 comments:

zeke said...: Nicely done. Isn't it nice when things work out?; March 2, 2009 at 4:25 AM
Booker said...: thank you! yes, it really is.; March 2, 2009 at 6:48 PM

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The Mothership Method

(Or, how to sit down for dinner with your family without completely losing your mind)

It would be great if kids AND parents wanted boiled chicken and baby carrots every night for dinner. But, too bad, we picky parents want spicy, exotic, fun foods, and our kids want, well, sorta lame foods.
Here's the solution: break it down. Serve the dish deconstructed, and let everyone put their own dish together at the table. Sort of like tapas, or smorgasbord, or tacos. Or how in some parts of China you get a bowl of rice, and everything else is in the middle of the table and you take what you want for your own little bowl of rice. That way everyone gets to eat what they want, parents don't have to nag their kids, and kids get to feels some ownership over their meals. Plus, kids get exposed to the look and taste of the foods you hope they will one day love. But it's not just tacos. You'll be amazed at what can be served with the Mothership Method.

Ten Tips to Get Through Dinner Without Having A Nervous Breakdown

1. Accept That Kids Are Picky. No need to freak out on your cooking ability, or look at your kids like there is something wrong with them. It's called "neo-phobia", and it's just how they are, especially from ages 3-6.

2. Serve Meals Broken Down. Even grown-up meals like coconut curry or linguine with clams can be served in their elements, making them more appealing to kids. Grown ups can assemble their own jumble of deliciousness at their own plate while kids take on the pared-down elements.

3. Push if it Works, But Don't Nag If It Doesn't. Some kids are okay with being expected to taste everything on their plate. Others aren't. I think it's okay to push kids -- but not if you're turning dinner into a battlefield.

4. Suggest a Smell. Smelling a new food is easier than tasting it, and can sometimes provide a kid with the information needed to take that scary first bite. But don't confine smelling to new foods. Smell favorites, too, and help them develop their sense of smell by making a game out of it.

5. Don't Ask "Do You Like It?" Instead, try, "What does this remind you of?" or, "Would your cousins like this?" or, "Does this taste salty or sweet?". Asking if they like it or not gives kids too much power and ends the conversation. Besides, we don't care if they like it! We just want them to keep tasting it until it is familiar.

6. Don't Get Frustrated. Imagine being in Taiwan, or Nairobi, or Rome for the first time. Would you eat everything on the local menu? New foods are scary and gross. Our kids need time to learn about the foods that we eat.

7. No SubstitutionsThis is family dinner, not a diner. You, in all your wisdom, have provided foods that are healthy and delicious and appropriate for your children. There is something on the table for them to eat. Period.

8. No Snacks Before Dinner. This can be the hardest with our hectic schedules and hungry kids. But children who come to the table hungry are more likely to eat than cause trouble.

9. Put Peer Pressure To Your Advantage. School children are more likely to accept new foods if the alpha girls in their group accept them. Swap healthy food ideas on playdates.

10. Involve Your Kids In Cooking, Shopping, and Gardening. The more experience kids have handling and preparing a variety of foods, the more likely they are to eventually accept the foods. (But don't get upset if they help you make a complicated wonderful meal, and then refuse to eat it.)