Mothership Meals and Satellite Saucers: Food Chain Basics

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Food Chain Basics

Okay, so my kids aren't that picky, as it turns out. After reading the book Food Chaining, I can appreciate that my kids' habits are more annoying than alarming.

Food Chaining is written by Cheryl Fraker, a parent, and a bunch of doctors who specialize in serious food disorders in children, many of them with autism spectrum disorders. These are kids who will only eat two or three foods and are not gaining weight. The book's "Proven Six-Step Plan" involves building on the foods the kids like. So if the kid will only eat McDonald's french fries, then you would offer the kid Wendy's fries, then homemade fries, then hash browns, then roasted potatoes.

Okay, sure. I'll try it. I mean, when my kids were in the depths of their food aversions, I would have had to pry their mouths open to get them to try something even one degree off from what they were expecting. But, always when I was least expecting it, we'd have little victories. So, yeah, I'm putting this one in my bag of tricks.

It reminds me of a child I know who only eats one brand of fish stick. So, why not offer her a different brand of fish stick? Just open up her a palate a teensy bit? and then a still different-er one. And then a homemade one. And then a breaded fish filet. And so on.

Here's an interview with one of the writers. The book mostly addresses autism issues, but there is info in there for all of us. Nothing about bribery, but lots of other tactics.

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The Mothership Method

(Or, how to sit down for dinner with your family without completely losing your mind)

It would be great if kids AND parents wanted boiled chicken and baby carrots every night for dinner. But, too bad, we picky parents want spicy, exotic, fun foods, and our kids want, well, sorta lame foods.
Here's the solution: break it down. Serve the dish deconstructed, and let everyone put their own dish together at the table. Sort of like tapas, or smorgasbord, or tacos. Or how in some parts of China you get a bowl of rice, and everything else is in the middle of the table and you take what you want for your own little bowl of rice. That way everyone gets to eat what they want, parents don't have to nag their kids, and kids get to feels some ownership over their meals. Plus, kids get exposed to the look and taste of the foods you hope they will one day love. But it's not just tacos. You'll be amazed at what can be served with the Mothership Method.

Ten Tips to Get Through Dinner Without Having A Nervous Breakdown

1. Accept That Kids Are Picky. No need to freak out on your cooking ability, or look at your kids like there is something wrong with them. It's called "neo-phobia", and it's just how they are, especially from ages 3-6.

2. Serve Meals Broken Down. Even grown-up meals like coconut curry or linguine with clams can be served in their elements, making them more appealing to kids. Grown ups can assemble their own jumble of deliciousness at their own plate while kids take on the pared-down elements.

3. Push if it Works, But Don't Nag If It Doesn't. Some kids are okay with being expected to taste everything on their plate. Others aren't. I think it's okay to push kids -- but not if you're turning dinner into a battlefield.

4. Suggest a Smell. Smelling a new food is easier than tasting it, and can sometimes provide a kid with the information needed to take that scary first bite. But don't confine smelling to new foods. Smell favorites, too, and help them develop their sense of smell by making a game out of it.

5. Don't Ask "Do You Like It?" Instead, try, "What does this remind you of?" or, "Would your cousins like this?" or, "Does this taste salty or sweet?". Asking if they like it or not gives kids too much power and ends the conversation. Besides, we don't care if they like it! We just want them to keep tasting it until it is familiar.

6. Don't Get Frustrated. Imagine being in Taiwan, or Nairobi, or Rome for the first time. Would you eat everything on the local menu? New foods are scary and gross. Our kids need time to learn about the foods that we eat.

7. No SubstitutionsThis is family dinner, not a diner. You, in all your wisdom, have provided foods that are healthy and delicious and appropriate for your children. There is something on the table for them to eat. Period.

8. No Snacks Before Dinner. This can be the hardest with our hectic schedules and hungry kids. But children who come to the table hungry are more likely to eat than cause trouble.

9. Put Peer Pressure To Your Advantage. School children are more likely to accept new foods if the alpha girls in their group accept them. Swap healthy food ideas on playdates.

10. Involve Your Kids In Cooking, Shopping, and Gardening. The more experience kids have handling and preparing a variety of foods, the more likely they are to eventually accept the foods. (But don't get upset if they help you make a complicated wonderful meal, and then refuse to eat it.)