Mothership Meals and Satellite Saucers: If You Eat This, You Can Have That...

Saturday, June 14, 2008

If You Eat This, You Can Have That...

In my ongoing quest to ease my children out of their neophobic ways, I am willing to stoop to bribery -- in the most absurd of situations, anyway.

After my pear post, I took the last pear in the house to my nine-year-old son's soccer game and out of desperation tried to push it on my 4-year-old. She was "STARRRRRVVINGGGG!" on the side lines of the game (with the container of crackers we'd packed for her sitting serenely on the kitchen counter at home).

She refused the pear, which is just ridiculous. A juicy cold pear on a hot day? Annoying!

So... instead of getting into an epic battle (which, if you knew my four-year-old, is no small undertaking), I took the shortest and easiest route: I bribed her.

Pointing to the Italian ice cart that was being pushed around the perimeter of the steamy hot soccer field (and which was an inevitability for us, given the heat and the fact that it was the last game of the season, and the fact that every other kid appeared to be slurping melted fluorescent ice out of paper cups), I told her she could have an ice if she ate half the pear.

Bribery's not really the ideal situation, but there was this simple fact: I was willing to buy her an ice, but not-no-way-no-how with an uneaten pear sitting in my bag. And, it worked. She ate the pear, and loved it -- and was so excited about her new discovery that shopping at the Coop later, she jumped up and down, chanting "Pear! Pear! Pear!" in the produce aisle.

This would have been impossible just 6 months ago, even with the bribery. Anyone else out there bribing their kids?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...: really you should just think of it as an incentive, you won't feel quite so bad...grown-ups get incentives - why shouldn't kids?; June 30, 2008 at 6:29 PM
Nicole said...: I bribe myself and my 3.5-yr-old son every day. If I eat all my salad or veggies, I get dessert. Same thing w/ him. He'll eat broccoli, salad, just about anything, as long as he gets dessert, which can be something as simple as three chocolate-covered almonds, a small bowl of vanilla ice cream, rice pudding, etc.; July 20, 2008 at 7:23 PM

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The Mothership Method

(Or, how to sit down for dinner with your family without completely losing your mind)

It would be great if kids AND parents wanted boiled chicken and baby carrots every night for dinner. But, too bad, we picky parents want spicy, exotic, fun foods, and our kids want, well, sorta lame foods.
Here's the solution: break it down. Serve the dish deconstructed, and let everyone put their own dish together at the table. Sort of like tapas, or smorgasbord, or tacos. Or how in some parts of China you get a bowl of rice, and everything else is in the middle of the table and you take what you want for your own little bowl of rice. That way everyone gets to eat what they want, parents don't have to nag their kids, and kids get to feels some ownership over their meals. Plus, kids get exposed to the look and taste of the foods you hope they will one day love. But it's not just tacos. You'll be amazed at what can be served with the Mothership Method.

Ten Tips to Get Through Dinner Without Having A Nervous Breakdown

1. Accept That Kids Are Picky. No need to freak out on your cooking ability, or look at your kids like there is something wrong with them. It's called "neo-phobia", and it's just how they are, especially from ages 3-6.

2. Serve Meals Broken Down. Even grown-up meals like coconut curry or linguine with clams can be served in their elements, making them more appealing to kids. Grown ups can assemble their own jumble of deliciousness at their own plate while kids take on the pared-down elements.

3. Push if it Works, But Don't Nag If It Doesn't. Some kids are okay with being expected to taste everything on their plate. Others aren't. I think it's okay to push kids -- but not if you're turning dinner into a battlefield.

4. Suggest a Smell. Smelling a new food is easier than tasting it, and can sometimes provide a kid with the information needed to take that scary first bite. But don't confine smelling to new foods. Smell favorites, too, and help them develop their sense of smell by making a game out of it.

5. Don't Ask "Do You Like It?" Instead, try, "What does this remind you of?" or, "Would your cousins like this?" or, "Does this taste salty or sweet?". Asking if they like it or not gives kids too much power and ends the conversation. Besides, we don't care if they like it! We just want them to keep tasting it until it is familiar.

6. Don't Get Frustrated. Imagine being in Taiwan, or Nairobi, or Rome for the first time. Would you eat everything on the local menu? New foods are scary and gross. Our kids need time to learn about the foods that we eat.

7. No SubstitutionsThis is family dinner, not a diner. You, in all your wisdom, have provided foods that are healthy and delicious and appropriate for your children. There is something on the table for them to eat. Period.

8. No Snacks Before Dinner. This can be the hardest with our hectic schedules and hungry kids. But children who come to the table hungry are more likely to eat than cause trouble.

9. Put Peer Pressure To Your Advantage. School children are more likely to accept new foods if the alpha girls in their group accept them. Swap healthy food ideas on playdates.

10. Involve Your Kids In Cooking, Shopping, and Gardening. The more experience kids have handling and preparing a variety of foods, the more likely they are to eventually accept the foods. (But don't get upset if they help you make a complicated wonderful meal, and then refuse to eat it.)